Truth or Snare?
by Lylilu
Summary: A fateful game of Truth or Dare lands Cyrus, almighty Team Galactic boss, on a date. And as if that weren't bad enough, it's with none other than the Sinnoh League Champion! Moral of the story: never play games with your overworked employees. Ever. Again.
1. Dare You To Date

**Truth or Snare?  
**_chapter one: dare you to date_

* * *

"Truth or Dare?" came the saccharine taunt, accompanied with Mars' trademark smirk. The focus of her attention, the usually composed Jupiter, looked as if she were about to commit suicide.

"You could at least give me some time to recover," she finally managed to mutter. "God. Playing this game with only the three of us around... it's _pathetic_. Besides, it hardly gives us time to prepare ourselves before the _next_ challenge smacks us in the face again."

"Whatever. Rules are rules," Mars retorted with a wink. "And rules say it's your turn, Jupi. So just get it over with. Truth or Dare?"

"Ughh. Fine, whatever shuts you up," came the exasperated sigh. "Truth."

Mars' face scrunched up into a tight ball of indecision. Saturn rolled his eyes at her, splayed lazily on the only couch in the rec room. Cyrus was notoriously cheap with the furniture, so the three commanders usually had to fight for use of the precious thing. Today was the first time he had actually been able to call it for himself (although, he noticed with a grimace, it smelled like sweat, mold, and an excess of Mars' perfume).

Finally, an uncharacteristic shriek tore Saturn out of his couch-related thoughts. "I know! Okay, Jupiter, do you_ really_ have a thing for Saturn?"

Both commanders eyed her with horror, while the red-haired woman giggled to herself and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Speak the truth, or I'll tell Cyrus that you two spent three hours in the Nap Room together. I won't go into specifics, but I'm sure he'll catch on by the time I-"

"Okay, okay!" Came the instantaneous response. "Alright, so what if I _do_? It's not like I trail that one Twinleaf trainer with a stalker mentality!"

Forgetting his shock at Jupiter's (almost) confession, Saturn burst into laughter. Two pairs of eyes settled on him, but he kept going, rolling on the couch like a madman. Ignoring his hysterics, the purple-haired commander scowled and continued:

"And unlike _you_, I seem to have no trouble at all taking my eyes off the boss. It's like you ogle him every chance you get!"

"Well!" Mars retorted, eyes narrowing. Okay, so she _did _have peculiar obsessions, but she had trusted Jupiter not to bring them to light! "I've heard some pret-ty strange rumors about you and that one blondie that time you were assigned to Acuity. To be perfectly honest, it's hard not to believe-"

"You guys are total pedophiles!" Saturn shrieked, just as the door slammed open and revealed Cyrus, the strictest boss in the entirety of Sinnoh, standing in the doorway. Saturn, oblivious, continued snickering to himself while his coworkers stared on in shock.

"Well," came the man's quiet, deadly remark. That finally caught his giggling employee's attention, prompting him to clam up immediately. "The world is a curious place. Yesterday, I oversaw the capture of Sinnoh's lake guardians. Today, I've realized that two of my trusted commanders might be child predators."

Under ordinary circumstances, the statement would've been hilarious to the men and woman sprawled inside the rec room. However, this was coming from _Cyrus_! Cyrus, possibly the world's most mentally unstable man! Unsure how to respond, the room was stunned into complete silence.

Finally, Saturn, the kiss-up of the trio, immediately sat up straight, pulled at his collar, and stammered:

"I had no part in this, sir! It was those two! They were playing a game! Truth or Dare!" He whipped an index finger at the two women, who glared back at him with deadly expressions. "They started it all, sir. I don't know why, or how... I don't know-"

"Silence yourself," came the cold order. The commander cowered back onto his couch, ignoring the death threats Mars was silently mouthing at him. Rather than launch into a spiel of potential consequences, though, Cyrus regarded the trio for a moment before his mouth curled into a smile.

A smile.

A _SMILE?!_

The three commanders had learned to read Cyrus during their first months at Team Galactic, something most Grunts failed pathetically at. The few emotions their boss decided to show were usually quite straightforward- anger, frustration, impatience, insanity, etc. A frown usually meant 'shut up and do your work'. A scowl usually meant 'you miserable failure!'. A raise of an eyebrow usually meant 'your pathetic little excuse will not be enough to sway me' or something along the lines of that.

But in all their years serving under TG, the three had never once seen their boss smile. And although it was bad enough to elicit _any_ emotion from the guy, they were sure that happiness was something they never should have brought on. I mean, the guy was borderline psychopathic! What could his twisted concept of happiness _be_?

"A game," the man mused aloud, breaking the horrified silence. "How interesting. Mind if I join?"

And so, because the three commanders were too stunned to speak (and because there were no words to describe the situation anyways), Cyrus was admitted into the game. Saturn had propelled himself off the couch and onto the floor, giving his boss a place to sit. Meanwhile, Jupiter and Mars were wondering if Cyrus had accidentally looked into Uxie's eyes and lost his memory. Either way, an awkward silence now hung in the air, and nobody seemed to know how to break it.

Finally, Jupiter summoned her courage up and muttered, "Alright, it's my turn." She glared at Saturn, who grinned sheepishly back. "You. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare?"

After Saturn had been forced to kiss his Toxicroak- an awkward situation, considering that the Pokemon was a male- the blue-haired commander, red-faced, turned to Cyrus. Jupiter and Mars eyed each other in exasperation, knowing that Saturn would probably try to give his boss the easiest challenge in the history of Truth-or-Dare. The guy was a total boss' pet, after all, and actually _cared _about TG! He was a suck-up! A total wannabe! If given the chance, he would probably _marry_ Cyrus!

Instead, Saturn's eyes narrowed. Cyrus had totally forced everything on the commander ever since he had blown up Lake Valor. "Oversee the containment of the three lake guardians, Saturn." "Assist Charon with the database backup, Saturn." "Go stalk that one trainer from Twinleaf, Saturn." Needless to say, the guy was tragically overworked, and now was the perfect time to exact revenge. He knew that Mars and Jupiter were behind him on this- after all, considering their recent failures, they had every incentive to get back at Cyrus for making them suffer.

So Saturn straightened himself up and looked Cyrus straight in the eye, a gesture that would make even the hardiest of Galactic Grunts flinch. However, he had worked at TG far longer than any of his coworkers, and was no stranger to facing his boss head-on. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," came the confident, unwavering response. Mars and Jupiter raised their eyebrows at Saturn, who nodded back assuredly.

"Alright, then." He paused in mock contemplation, eyes fixed on his boss. "I dare you... to go on a date. With the Sinnoh League Champion."

There was a stunned silence after that, one in which his two comrades eyed him in horror (and pity, considering the fury that was probably going to be unleashed on the poor guy). Mars bit her lip, unsure whether or not Saturn was joking. Jupiter simply gaped. Meanwhile, Saturn and Cyrus engaged in a tense staring competition, one that was broken when the Galactic Boss raised an eyebrow and asked:

"What incentive could I _possibly_ have for spending an evening with the League Champion?"

"Well, she's easy on the eyes!" Saturn contributed without missing a beat.

"You deserve to celebrate the captures of the lake trio," Mars offered reluctantly.

"It's a matter of _honor_, sir. Believe me, boss, if you follow through with this dare, we'd probably have new respect for you. Maybe even obey you without question... or something," Jupiter answered without thinking, suddenly aware that her comrades were now directing their death glares at her.

This last comment seemed to hit home, however. Cyrus straightened up, strangely enthused about the concept of newly willing and loyal commanders.

"If I follow through on this 'dare', you, Saturn, will be forced to stay at Veilstone while the rest of us take Mt. Coronet."

"That's something I can handle," the commander replied with some reluctance. The guy really had wanted to see Cyrus create a new world, but hey, he figured, you win some, you lose some. Besides, when would he ever get a chance to witness Cyrus on a date? With _Cynthia_, of all people? The woman would probably kill Cyrus if he stepped within an inch of her, and then Saturn would be in charge of Team Galactic. He smirked to himself as his evil plan unfurled, though he knew that it was hardly something that would come to fruition.

"And in addition, you must also assist Charon with his research for a month. No, rather- _all three of you _must. No matter how trivial or unorthodox his commands, you are all required to acquiesce to them. You will receive no pay- and no sympathy- for completing this servitude."

The three exchanged glances, and wordlessly concluded that the benefits far outweighed the costs. "Fine with us," Saturn replied. "How difficult can it be?"

"I intend for all of you to be up at dawn tomorrow. I will carry out the details of your request then," came the smooth reply. "As of now, however, this game is over."

xxx

Her eyes narrowed as they settled on the man before her. She hadn't expected anyone to arrive first thing in the morning- after all, challengers were only allowed to come in after ten, and fewer were arriving every day. It was eight-thirty now, and she had never expected this particular visitor. Had never wanted to see him again.

Still, the irony of the situation was humorously evident. Rather than waiting for her visitor to speak, she sighed, looked him over, and coldly inquired:

"Have you come for a battle, Cyrus? I don't suppose you could defeat me, but it'll be enjoyable watching you fall."

"I have no intention of challenging you," he replied just as coolly. Cold grey eyes met deadened black, and she scowled slightly, wondering exactly what the man had come for.

"Your lackeys are probably infiltrating the building, aren't they?" Came her voice, laced with warning. "A wasted effort. They'll find nothing here."

"An interesting guess, but an incorrect one. I've come here alone. There was the receptionist to handle, however... fortunately, she was easily disposed of."

_Not the best thing to say, sir,_ Saturn hastily stammered into the earpiece. The advice proved true, as Cynthia started glaring at the man with an intensity frightening to behold. The League Champion's stare was strangely intimidating, though it really had no effect on Cyrus. The man was accustomed to such things, since he was, indisputably, the self-proclaimed master of evil glares.

Instead, he looked back at her with unwavering confidence. "I've come to ask a favor of you, Cynthia."

She raised an eyebrow. "At this point, Cyrus, I'll be doing you a favor if I don't turn you in."

_Be subtle, sir,_ Mars cooed in his ear, amusement heavy in her voice. Unfortunately, genius as he was in other matters, Cyrus lacked social skills. More notably, he lacked _conversational_ skills. Tactfulness. So subtlety had never really been his forte...

"My underlings have suggested that we partake in a romantic evening," he said without thinking. "Failure to comply with their idiotic demands will result in humiliation on my part. Suffice it to say, I have no choice but to answer to them, if at the cost of my dignity and your patience. I suggest you follow suit."

Miles away, three young commanders did simultaneous facepalms.

Meanwhile, Cynthia's anger was shifting to a cynical bemusement. "You're asking me out on a date. You? The head of a crime syndicate?"

"It would appear so," the aforementioned head-of-a-crime-syndicate responded nonchantly. "Yes. I believe 'date' is the proper terminology for such undertakings."

The League Champion mulled the idea over for an instant. Either Cyrus was drawing her into a trap, or his employees had blackmailed him. The first option was much more likely, since the man hated her with a passion. She didn't mind too much. The feeling was mutual.

However, if Cyrus actually meant his offer, it would make it so much easier for her to trap _him_. The endless fight against Team Galactic would end just like that, if it did come at the cost of her dignity. Ah, well. She would make him pay for dinner, anyways. And besides, she would drag some Elite Four guys around, in case it did turn out to be a scheme.

The thought made her smirk, to the evident annoyance of the criminal standing in front of her. "Tonight, then. Seven sharp, directly outside the League Building. I suggest you wear something that fits the occasion, unless you want the public to recognize you as a wanted man."

"I will be prompt," he confirmed. "And... subtle." He would need help with that, actually.

"Excellent," she muttered as he left the Champion Room. _Oh Arceus what have I done what have I done_ her mind screamed, but she knew better than to display her panic. A date, though? With that guy? For some reason, Cyrus had some sort of negative energy that filtered all life away from the atmosphere. She swore that the room grew five degrees warmer when he stepped outside.

The man in question was now leaving the League Building, after returning his Crobat to its Poke Ball. The League receptionist was still white-faced and shaky, eyes wide with horror.

"It was going to suck my blood!" She stammered to nobody in particular, referring to the Pokemon that had been hovering over her neck for the last five minutes. "ItwasgoingtosuckmybloodohmyArceus.. oh Arceus..." The receptionist slumped over in a dead faint, and the man continued walking.

_I'll be honest with you,_ Jupiter snarked, her voice marred with static. _I didn't think you could pull it off. Not the Crobat thing, I definitely saw that coming. The date thing. You actually asked her out. Kudos to you, boss._

"It's merely a ploy," he hissed. "A scheme to turn me in to the authorities. If her plan is successful, our struggles will have been for nothing!"

_Re-lax, Cyrus. You can't back out now. Besides, all three of us'll tag along in case it really is a trap. _Mars drawled, much to the dismay of her fellow accomplices. _Actually, I don't think she has anything planned. That Cynthia chick totally has the hots for you._

There was silence on the other side, and Mars frowned. "Huh. Must be bad reception."

"Or maybe he's devising a way to punish you for that," Saturn suggested, leaning against his chair. "Who are you kidding, anyways? Why would Cynthia- the hottest girl in the region, possibly the world- want our creepy, psychopathic boss in any way, shape, or form? Common sense, Marsy." He tapped his head with a finger, eliciting a raised eyebrow from "Marsy".

Finally, a reply came. "Commander Saturn," Cyrus intoned, voice low and dangerous. "I believe you've forgotten that I can hear everything you say."

_Oh shi-_

xxx

"You seem uncharacteristically quiet today," Lucian remarked. It was lunchtime at the League, and the five prestigious trainers were huddled around their usual table. The man's comment had been directed towards Cynthia, who had all but lost her appetite and was picking at her food.

"Hmm, well. Maybe I'm just tired," came the dull, apathetic response. At this, the heads of Aaron, Bertha, and Flint snapped up simultaneously. Though Cynthia was in no way the most energetic of the group, the woman was never this low in spirits. She was always the commanding, fearless, _tireless_ one, laughing at a joke one second and shouting orders the next.

This particular instant, however, Cynthia was hunched over the table, eyes cast onto the cracked wood of the surface. Sensing that something was terribly wrong, the Psychic-type trainer extended his fingers towards her, clenched his eyes shut, and creased his forehead in thought.

"What's he doing?" Aaron whispered, as if he would break a sacred rite if he dared to speak normally.

"Lucian's trying to read her mind, dear," Bertha answered without looking at him, attention drawn back to finishing her lunch. "Though I doubt he has those abilities."

Too downcast to protest, the League Champion simply stared wearily at Lucian while he tried to sense the problem. "You're not going to have any luck with that," she remarked quietly. "I've already tried my hardest to forget the matter."

"You're right. I'm not able to sense anything." Lucian let his hand drop, his eyes opening and settling on her. "Can you tell us what's wrong?"

Cynthia looked up, and met four pairs of curious eyes. She sighed; it was better to let the problem out before it consumed her entire being.

"I have a date tonight. No, not a rowdy fan or anything," she quickly added, sensing the alarm on their faces. "The exact opposite."

"Well, that sounds lovely," Bertha remarked, while Flint shot her an enthusiastic grin and a thumbs-up.

"What does he look like, Champ? Probably not as handsome as me, but close, huh? Could be a guy just like you, the toughest in his region." He prodded her in the arm with his elbow, ignoring how she winced at the contact. "Two high-and-mighty League Champions, out on a fancy date. Sounds hot, sounds hot."

"No, Flint. Far from 'hot', actually," Cynthia sighed, pushing his elbow away. "The date's with the head of Team Galactic. Cyrus."

She attempted at a small smile, but it fell flat and turned into a grimace. She saw the same expression mirrored on Lucian's face, followed by mute amazement from Aaron, mute concern from Bertha, and very heavily voiced shock from Flint.

"WHAT THE BLAZES, Cynthia? You could do so much better than a guy like him! I mean, the dude's like, what? _Eighty_?" He shot a disappointed look at her, while Aaron tried to stifle a laugh. Whether Flint knew it or not, his fire-themed outbursts were pretty hilarious.

"I must admit that it was quite rash on your part," Lucian added, peering at her above the rims of his glasses. "The man's a criminal. To be utterly honest, I'm amazed you hadn't arrested him on the spot."

"Relax, it's nothing serious." _I hope,_ she added silently. "He said it was just a setup by his employees. Idiot must have played Truth or Dare with the lot."

The members of the Elite Four exchanged furtive, amused glances. They were no strangers to the fun underlings could have with Truth or Dare, even if their target happened to be their boss and, on a slightly more intimidating note, the strongest trainer in the region.

Aaron was the first to speak up again. "Well, then, don't go on the date. Let him get humiliated by his employees. It's the least that guy deserves, right?"

"I wouldn't object to that, honestly. The thing is, if I do go along with him, it gives me the perfect opportunity to trap him and turn him in."

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Bertha inquired, raising her mug of coffee. "You certainly had him alone then."

"I know. But somehow, I don't think I have the heart to arrest him myself. It's better to let the authorities handle it. Besides, he's not truly evil, really... maybe just disillusioned. Misunderstood."

"Right. And I'm ugly," Flint snorted. "You know what, if you're really going to do this, we might as well go with you. Hide discreetly and observe. No matter the circumstances, that guy's dangerous. We can't put anything past him."

"I'm with you!" Aaron shouted. Lucian followed suit, and cast his gaze on Bertha, who was busy sipping at her coffee.

"You youngsters run along and have some fun," she laughed. "It'll be wonderful to have this building to myself."

The three boys nodded, and turned to Cynthia. "Okay, plan of action," Flint said. "I'll have Officer Jenny and her people wait outside wherever you're going out for... dinner, probably?" She confirmed it with a slight nod. "One of us can wait with them. The other two can _secretly _sneak inside the restaurant and watch out for Cynthia. If something goes wrong, all we have to do is alert the guys waiting outside. Then bam!" He slapped his hands together. "Cyrus's plan goes up in FLAMES!"

"Seriously, man, you've gotta stop doing that," Aaron managed through giggles. Cynthia attempted at a slight smile.

"It's the bare minimum, but it'll have to do. I appreciate your insight and support, everyone, though you did manage to portray me as a helpless damsel in distress. Not a very good reflection on you four."

"I liked her better when she was tired," Flint mumbled to Aaron, which sent the adolescent boy laughing again. Aaron was, after all, notoriously easy to amuse.

"Wait, though," Lucian spoke through the noise. "What if _nothing_ goes wrong? What if the man's conduct is impeccable, and he's truly changed for the better?"

"Well, then..." Flint exhaled sharply, glancing sideways at Cynthia. "I guess we just run right in and arrest him. No need to wait for something to go wrong. After all, one night of great behavior doesn't excuse a lifetime of FIERY EVIL."

"I suppose," the League Champion sighed, tapping her fingers on the table. "You should all prepare; the date's at seven. For now, however, you'd better get to work. Every one of you, or you're all fired."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The table was cleared in a matter of seconds, leaving an exasperated young woman to her own thoughts.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Oh, I hate writing comedies so much, particularly because I'm not a very funny person by nature. Did anything in this make you cringe, cry, or claw your eyes out? I apologize, because my pitiful attempts at humor usually elicit those reactions. I should probably put some sort of warning at the top of this fic, huh?_

_In any case, this is to atone for the angst-ridden themes of all my prior stories. If you've been bored and gone through every single one, you'll find that each one has some sort of dark undertone somewhere in it. Especially "A Torn Perfection", in which I do Mizuhikishipping no justice whatsoever._

_Oh, and I should warn you- since my muse is all but exhausted right about now, my writing style is going to be much more relaxed than in my other stories. Not only is this something new for me, it's also an outlet for my warped creativity. So if Cyrus and Cynthia- or any other character, for that matter- is acting tragically out of character, feel free to call me out for it. Chances are, I'll feel just as bad about it as you do, if not worse._

_Thanks!_

_**EDIT: **Fixed a lame screw-up on Jupiter's name. Thanks, R0-S3! Haha, see, these are the repercussions of writing a story at 11:00 PM. xD_


	2. A Nice, Cheap Dinner

**Truth or Snare?  
**_chapter two: a nice, cheap dinner_

* * *

Seven o' clock sharp. A light summer breeze billowed across the Pokemon League, sending the leaves whispering and the grass rippling like the sea. The sunlight was receding, the glow of twilight shimmering on the waves of the ocean. If a man looked closely at the heavens, he would see the first star of the night, twinking amidst a palette of pastel hues and the deep, azure depths of the oncoming night.

The evening was, without a doubt, the perfect time for a romantic outing.

A certain man there, however, had no intentions of celebrating the beautiful world. He was pacing around the building, muttering impatient and incoherent scientific formulas to himself. His dislike of waiting was only rivaled by his hatred of emotions, purple prose, and meddling children. And as each second ticked by, he found himself wondering whether or not this "date" would ever come to fruition.

_Chillax, boss,_ Mars sang into the earpiece. _Girls like to be fashionably late._

"Must I do this?" He muttered, trying to ignore how the nature was taunting him. "Perhaps her acceptance of my proposal was merely a lie."

_It's only ten seconds past seven,_ Jupiter grumbled. _Not everyone has a freakish internal clock._

_Besides, she wouldn't stand you up,_ Saturn quipped. _And even if she does, you still have to go on the date. Kidnap her, or something. Now that would be hot._

"And illegal," the Galactic Boss snarled. The commanders looked at each other. The man had threatened to blow up cities, planned to summon the power of deities, captured the three guardians that kept balance in Sinnoh, scarred a few lives, almost ended a few others, gave millions of children nighmares, infiltrated powerful corporations, blackmailed three innocent teenagers to do his bidding, defiled Eterna's Pokemon statue, held hour-long speeches about nap room policies...

...and he was worried that a one-night kidnapping would break the law? The heck?

"I am beginning to wonder if the benefits of this 'date' outweigh the repercussions," Cyrus continued, as if his last statement hadn't been totally uncharacteristic of him. "I am currently taking no enjoyment in it, despite the fact that you three have insisted on me attending. The notion of a romantic evening is quite ridiculous to me, and is, by no means, instrumental to our master plan. Therefore, I-"

An abrupt silence. The three commanders tilted their heads, trying to pick up the remainder of his rant. Nothing.

"'Therefore I' what?" Saturn asked nobody in particular, casting a questioning gaze on Jupiter, who shrugged. Mars rolled her eyes.

"Idiots. The date's probably starting." A devilish smirk spread across her lips. "This should be amusing."

True enough, the date had begun. The League Champion had exited the building and was taking reluctant, pained strides towards him. Immediately, the man before her felt taken aback, a reaction that was incredibly foreign to him. He felt as if every dictionary in the world had run out of adjectives and he had none to use for the occasion.

Indeed, the way Cynthia looked wasn't too easy to describe in words. She was wearing a black sleeveless dress, one that fell around her ankles and highlighted her every feature. Her hair had been left untouched, save for the absence of the ornaments she usually wore. It cascaded down her back, a striking gold contrast to her clothing.

She bore the whole thing with a hatred so strong that it rivaled only her overwhelming desire to kill the man in front of her.

_This reminds me,_ she told herself, gritting her teeth as she took the painful few steps towards her date. _I will never get married. I will never have a wedding. I will never go on a fancy date ever again and this is the sole reason why. _

A few more seconds passed before she approached the man reluctantly, her eyes boring death glares into his skull.

"Hello, there," she intoned mechanically, as if she had rehearsed the lines multiple times in front of a mirror. "I hope I haven't kept you waiting."

"What is this wretched emotion I feel?" he demanded abruptly. "This internal fluttering, this lightheadedness... it must be the beginnings of a physical malady. I believe I must seek prompt medical attention."

A grey eye twitched despite itself. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" The League Champion muttered disbelievingly, deviating from her planned script. "I'm not quite sure how to respond to that."

"This is terrible," Saturn thought to himself. Meanwhile, his fellow comrades were cracking up, clutching at each other and totally ruining Cyrus's line of thought.

_You-you mean she's hot, don't you?_ Jupiter managed through bouts of laughter. _Then just tell her so!_

"You misunderstand. Her body temperature is not abnormal in the slightest, and I do not believe she has the signs of a fever," came the man's response, immediately prompting the woman before him to raise an eyebrow. "I am merely suffering from slight disorientation, though it's hardly enough to dissuade me at this point."

"Stop talking to yourself," she sighed, just as renewed peals of laughter shot through Cyrus's ear. "Either way, I can see that you're not too enthusiastic about tonight. Good, then. The feeling's mutual."

_You're losing her, boss, _Saturn intoned dramatically, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice. _Just- just compliment her. No need for... fancy symbolism or anything. Tell her that she looks beautiful. Okay? That's enough._

The man relented. "You look beautiful," he spat, as if the words were a plague he desperately needed to rid himself of.

"Flattery will get you nowhere. I'd rather hear you shout profanities, Cyrus, than have you try to buy some more sympathy from me. How about this? For the remainder of tonight, we'll just_ insult_ each other in lieu of lovelorn confessions and the like. Alright? That would make this ordeal a lot less painful."

He looked at her pointedly. "If this is so unbearable to you, why did you accept my offer?"

_Because I want to turn you in, Cyrus. And also:_ "Because I sympathize with your overworked underlings. If this is as painful for you as it is for me, then I'm glad they're able to take revenge." Her eyes gleamed. "Besides, I knew you were hoping I'd refuse your offer. I took some pleasure out of crushing your desires."

_I think I like this Cynthia chick,_ Mars mused to herself. _You should ask her to join TG, sir. Employee happiness would soar._

Cyrus said nothing, instead directing a steely glare at Cynthia. She smiled mockingly back at him, a mute, saccharine blow to his dignity.

xxx

Cyrus had begrudgingly made a dinner reservation at the Seven Stars Cafe, a prestigious restaurant that overlooked Lake Valor. Well, Lake Valor was nothing more than a blown-up mess thanks to him, but one good thing came out of the explosion- all the vacationers had fled the lakeside, leaving the restauarant blessedly empty. Only a trembling waiter and the head chef remained, still shaken from the prior week's events but with enough presence of mind to keep the cafe open for travelers. Cyrus's three commanders were also lurking around discreetly, waiting to take a peek at the awkward dinner.

Unfortunately, the man had no idea how to get to the restaurant. Well, he did in a navigational sense, but...

"You have no way of leaving this place," Cynthia clarified, shooting a withering glare at him. "Although you've come all this way to the Pokemon League, you have _no idea_ how to depart. No way of flying us out of here. I should have expected this from you, in all honesty."

His fingers tightened around Crobat's Poke Ball. "My Crobat could carry us there," he retorted. "One of us, rather..."

"_One of us_," she repeated after him, eyes wrought with exasperation. "And no, I won't teach my Togekiss 'Fly' for the sake of a forced date. You tell me, then. What do we do?"

"Perhaps we might dine here, at the League," he suggested without thinking. "I suppose it would be an acceptable substitute."

"Of course," she muttered derisively, a cold smile on her face. "And who do you suppose might cook for us? Flint? I hear he makes exceptional instant noodles."

"Do you not have a cafeteria, or a similar means of obtaining food?"

"Yes, though what they serve is considerably lacking in taste." She sighed ruefully, casting her gaze up to the darkening skies. "Whatever works for you, alright? Let's just get this over with."

Without further comment, he followed her into the building. Both were trying very, very hard not to give into their suicidal impulses.

_Aww, Cy-rus! _Mars whined as her boss stepped inside the League Building, her voice a high-pitched wail in his ear. _You're not going to the Seven Stars? All three of us are waiting here and we won't even get to see anything!_

"Perhaps it's for the best," he muttered. Preoccupied, he failed to notice that three young men were currently watching his every move.

They were sitting in the security camera room, which had been darkened for special effect. Lucian was silently observing the unfolding scene, while Aaron caught a glimpse of Cynthia's pained expression and had to fight back waves of remorse. Meanwhile, Flint was too busy gaping at the League Champion to worry about the matter at hand. Okay, so Cynthia wasn't exactly his type, but she did look _fine_ tonight.

His finger hovered over the _Save Footage _button on the security camera panel, but decided against it and fixated his attention on the screen instead.

"They're going to have dinner in the building? Wow, Cyrus is _cheap_," he snickered to his teammates, who grinned their agreement. "But it does make our lives a whole lot easier."

The three nodded to each other, and Lucian wordlessly flipped a switch on the panel before him. The screen flickered, and changed to display security camera footage of the cafeteria.

"You're lucky the place is empty," the League Champion snapped, though she knew full well that it wasn't. "The cafeteria closes early on weekends, so we have to cook dinner ourselves."

_You do know how to cook, right?_ Jupiter ventured, though she already knew the answer. _Uh, sir? Do you?_

"I assume you're fine with preparing a meal," Cynthia continued, her cold grey eyes fixed on him. "Unless chivalry is indeed dead and you expect me to make food for us both."

"I'm quite skilled in the culinary arts," came the unwavering lie. Though he had no idea how to cook, he also had no desire whatsoever to incur more anger from Cynthia. "If given the necessary equipment, I should be able to prepare a meal."

_Are you crazy?_ Came Saturn's instantaneous shriek. _If she doesn't arrest you for everything else you've done, she'll sue you for attempted murder!_

Cyrus gritted his teeth, ignoring the statement. Cynthia raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk on her face.

"Well, then," she replied sarcastically, demurely seating herself at a nearby table. "The kitchen's at the very back of the cafeteria, to your right. I trust you'll know what to do when you arrive."

xxx

Five minutes later, Cyrus emerged from the kitchen carrying two steaming bowls of instant noodles. If there were ever a moment to immortalize, this would be it.

"The dude went through my stash!" Flint yelped without thinking, eliciting raised eyebrows from his comrades. "He's going to BURN for this!"

"Calm down," Aaron muttered, zooming the camera in on Cynthia's table. "I want to see her reaction."

Sure enough, the League Champion's response was definitely one to watch. If she had any expectations of the man whatsoever, they were promptly crushed in the seconds he walked up to her table, nonchantly bearing two very, _very_ cheap dinner entrees. Just as Cyrus had run out of words earlier that evening, Cynthia found herself running out of insults. There were just too little in the world to illustrate the situation.

She could only manage a faint "Looks lovely" as her date set the bowls on the tabletop, trying hard not to break down in the process. Still, a part of her had seen this coming. The guy had no affection for her whatsoever, and she figured that if you were forced on a date with the woman you least loved in the world, you might as well try to make her as miserable as possible. If that was Cyrus's initiative, then he was succeeding, much to her dismay.

"So," she muttered dully, absentmindedly stirring the soup with her pair of chopsticks. The mixture had an odd coloration, and she shuddered, wondering how it was possible to cook _instant noodles_ incorrectly. "This is probably the part of the date where we tell each other about ourselves, correct?"

"You seem to have much more knowledge regarding these matters," came the ambiguous response. "Do enlighten me."

She scoffed, poking at the tangled mess at the bottom of the bowl. The noodles, perhaps? The thought made her appetite drain away, and she glanced up, noticing that Cyrus hadn't touched his bowl either. Well, that was one thing they shared: common sense.

"I'll start, then," she remarked, boredom tingeing her voice. "Hello. I'm Cynthia, of Celestic. I like numerous things, all of which do not have to do with forced dating, instant noodles, and you. I enjoy Pokemon battling and playing the piano, tasks that I can probably do ten times better than the average criminal. However, I don't enjoy having a conversation with a person I'd normally avoid in public."

"You were born in Celestic?" The word was spoken with contempt. "One would expect the Champion to come from a much more upstanding background."

"And one would expect Team Galactic's mastermind to come from the depths of hell," she retaliated coldly. The two glared at each other for a split-second, then immediately averted their gazes.

_That was pretty cold,_ Saturn mumbled, taking advantage of the silence. _Uh, why don't you find some common ground? Something you're both interested in?_

"Are you, by any chance, interested in probabilistic algorithms or imperative programming?" Cyrus proposed without thinking.

"As interested as I am in you."

"Just as I expected." He thought for a moment. "However, I suppose you'd find some enjoyment in Pokemon mythology, seeing as Celestic is your hometown."

At this, Cynthia raised her head, her attention definitely caught. "You- you study mythology?"

_You've got her with that one,_ Mars cheered, her faith in her boss considerably renewed. _Just keep talking about that subject, alright? This is good._

"Yes, I do have substantial knowledge regarding Sinnoh's legends. Such studies are instrumental to my plans."

_Plans?_ Cynthia disregarded this statement for a moment, though, too engrossed in the conversation to notice. "So you've heard of the Creation Myth, then? Dialga, Palkia, Arceus? Everything?"

"Correct. I take it that you, too, have considered such legends a passion of yours."

"That's right. Interesting. I had never expected someone like you to share an interest in folklore." Her eyes took on a new gleam, one that frightened the heck out of Lucian, Flint, and Aaron. "You know Mesprit, Uxie, and Azelf, right? What they stand for, and how they keep balance in Sinnoh?"

"Quite right. Just recently, I managed to capture all three beings- I mean to say, capture their _attention_- for my studies."

_Don't forget, you're still a criminal_, Jupiter warned_. That one slip-up could majorly cost you, boss._

But if Cynthia noticed the slight error, she didn't show her disapproval. As a matter of fact, she concealed it so well that Cyrus believed she hadn't heard his mistake at all. The League Champion hated herself for it, but she was actually starting to feel a bit more comfortable around the guy. There were so few people in the world that were interested in legends, and to have a well-read man sitting right in front of her...

However, this was not part of the master plan.

"I still hate you, you know," she offered then, once again stirring the soup growing cold before her. "Say what you will, but a shared interest in mythology won't be enough to sway me."

At this, Lucian, Flint, and Aaron breathed sighs of relief. Their boss had not lapsed into momentary insanity, and Cyrus was still the antisocial freak she hated. Still, however, there was something about the date that had them rooting for the man. Maybe it was their own failed luck with the ladies that kept them unconsciously sympathizing with Cyrus.

Either way, the hour was flying by. Another few minutes, and the date would end for good. The police would arrive, and with no backup to support him, Cyrus would be imprisoned. The three gave each other high-fives, all the while wishing the ordeal would last a little longer.

After all, they had to get back at their boss, too. Team Galactic's underlings weren't the one ones being overworked, right?

* * *

_**Author's Note: **I like this chapter a lot better than the previous one? Why? Because banter, witty or not, is SO MUCH FUN to write. Haha, thanks for reading._


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